


Now is good enough

by chrisemrys



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-29 00:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/998925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrisemrys/pseuds/chrisemrys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A confrontation between Merlin and Mordred lead them to open their heart. Can they forget the future and enjoy the present?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now is good enough

**Author's Note:**

> Hello dears! I've decided to post here some of the stories on my Tumblr blog :) This one was a gift to a friend; who requested some MerlinxMordred!

The door to Mordred’s room flew open. The young druid jumped, startled. He looked up quickly-having just taken of his armor. And while he knew himself as a good knight and he took pride into his magic; the sight of Emrys marching toward him with fury in his eyes made him step back.

“How dare you? Did you think I would never found out?” Merlin snapped right into Mordred’s face in a cold tone.

Mordred gulped. He knew what Emrys meant. Some days ago, a rogue druid had tried to assassinate King Arthur. A rogue druid who had been a friend of Mordred; and the young druid had helped him infiltrate the castle.

While Mordred had first liked Arthur, the months passed inside Camelot with no change had irked him. He had thought maybe Ronan had been right, that Arthur wasn’t someone they could trust for the hope of a better place.

Of course, it had backfired spectacularly. Emrys had saved Arthur once again; and it seemed like Ronan betrayed Mordred to Emrys.

At least, the other druid had only talked to Emrys; and the warlock had come straight to him.

“I believed Ronan to be right. Have you become so blind that you don’t see the wrong Arthur does to our kin?”

Emrys’ eyes narrowed; and Mordred felt like slapping himself. He did not want to anger Emrys further. He wanted to gain his trust, to make him see.

“You have no idea what you are talking about! Arthur is a great king!”

Emrys might have wanted to say more, but something in Mordred snapped. The young man grabbed Merlin by his jacket and pushed him against the wall. Equal anger and sadness filled his eyes.

“ _You_ have no idea what _you_ are talking about! You only see Arthur, you always talk about him! Why can’t you see _me_?” Mordred never realized he started crying. “I don’t understand! Everyone always talked about the great Emrys, the powerful warlock who would bring magic back! You saved me as a child!  But after that… You only had eyes for Arthur! What about us?”

Anger drained from Merlin’s face. A contemplative look replaced his earlier fury. His eyes searched Mordred’s face, frowning in puzzlement.

Mordred realized what he said, and released Emrys. He turned his back and stepped away, brushing his tears away forcefully. Why, why had he voiced what was deep inside his heart? Emrys would really hate him now!

“Mordred… I am no hero, you know.”

Mordred half-turned, surprised; and he couldn’t quite believe the vulnerable look Emrys had allowed to appear on his face.

“Yes, I am powerful. But I have done… many things I regret.” He shook his head. “And I am not the one that will bring magic back. It is Arthur.”

Mordred clenched his jaws. “So you even gave him your fate?” He couldn’t help but snap out.

Merlin glared. “You are not listening. It was never my fate in the first place. I am only his protector.”

Mordred frowned in confusion. “… What? But… No. I’ve only ever heard about you. You are the one supposed to be our savior.” He admitted with unconscious awe and reverence.

Merlin glanced down with a soft blush. “It seems like everyone believe that.” He sighed. “But I know I am not the center of that. Can’t you understand? Yes, I do help Arthur. But he is the one who _will_ bring magic back.”

Mordred stayed quiet. However, Emrys seemed so sure of himself, so truthful. How could he not believe him? And yet…

“What about me? Why do you always push me away?” He gritted out bitterly. “I never do enough. I try and try to be closer to you; but no matter what I do, I do wrong.” He looked up at Merlin; but his eyes trailed way when he noticed the fixed stare of Emrys. Although, now that he had started, Mordred needed to finish. “I just… I just want to be your friend.” He whispered wistfully, blushing slightly. “W-what do I need to do? I don’t know anymore!”

Merlin gasped. Mordred’s words had struck him deeply. Could it be that Mordred did not know about his own destiny? “I… It is not you. Not really. I know more than you do about our destinies; and it scares me.”

Mordred frowned. “Our? I have one too?” He would have rejoiced in knowing he shared something with Merlin; but for some reason it seemed like Emrys did not like it. “What is it?”

Merlin shook his head. He did not want to say it. Maybe, just maybe; voicing it would make it happen.

Mordred came closer, honest eyes searching for an answer. “Please? Let me understand.”

Merlin bit his lips. Something in Mordred crumbled his refusal. “You are supposed to kill Arthur.”

Mordred recoiled. What? It had never crossed his mind! Well, it had never crossed his mind until he let Ronan in. Suddenly, Mordred could understand Emrys’ earlier fury. Or better, he could understand everything.

How could you allow someone closer; if you knew they would kill your best friend? Wasn’t it better to not let yourself open up that try to change fate and fail?

Silence wrapped around them. Mordred wanted to believe the prophecy was wrong; but even he knew how fate worked. He might not want to kill Arthur now; but what about it in a month? A year?

Mordred hung his head down and let tears fell. “I don’t… I never wanted that.”

Merlin could hear everything Mordred meant. His destiny, being opposed to Merlin… The young warlock was reminded of his younger self, some years ago. So young; and suddenly knowing you had the future of some many people on your shoulders.

Was it really different for Mordred? Wasn’t he just a young man who suddenly knew he would impact the future?

Merlin glanced at the young druid, taking into the tears. Seeing the sadness wrapped around him like a blanket; and Merlin knew.

Mordred widened his eyes as two arms wrapped around him and pushed him against a solid chest. He looked up a bit and met the sad eyes of Emrys.

“I’m sorry.” Was all Merlin said.

But it was enough for Mordred. The youngest nodded faintly before snuggling against the older man’s chest. He gripped his jacket and let out a sob as Merlin tightened his own grip.

“I am too.” Mordred closed his eyes. “I just… I just want to be your friend now.”

Before I could not be anymore, was left unsaid but clear.

Merlin planted a kiss on Mordred’s hairs. He might regret this choice one day; but for now…

“Yes. Let’s forget the future for now. The now is good enough.” Merlin attempted a light tone.

Mordred chuckled a bit. “I am good enough?”

Merlin snorted. “Try a bit harder.” He teased with no malice.

Mordred pushed back a bit, eyes mischievous. “Oh, I will. Do not worry.”

Merlin took into the cocky grin and the fire into Mordred’s eyes; and suddenly he wondered if he would like what would come next.

Mordred raised an eyebrow at Emrys’ sudden bright blush. He tilted his head, silently inquiring what Emrys was thinking.

Merlin groaned. “Forget it, Mordred.”

But the feral grin the young druid gave him told him _he would not_ ; and he couldn’t find in himself to mind.

He had stopped worrying about the future; and he would only make the best of now.

_The end_


End file.
